Please prepare one of the following selections for your audition.
We do not require that your lines be memorized.
You see, the General could use some company this Christmas. I know it's asking a lot, going to Vermont with your families for the holidays--but the way I remember it, it's what Christmas is all about. A lot of us wouldn't be a live today if it wasn't for the General. So we'd be giving just about the nicest gift we could to the greatest guy we'll ever know.
Bob, I want you to go out and have some fun. Remember fun? I want you to stop being Bob Wallace Incorporated and fall in love!I want you to get married and have nine children, so you can have a home and I can get a massage or something!
Yes, but how did Wallace and Davis ever find out about Betty and Judy Haynes? Frankie's in Alaska. How did he ever get to them? I smell a rat here. Maybe the same rat who told the club owner we're his cousins. Did you ever hear about honesty being the best policy?
You can't break a confidence but you can go off and play in the Regency Room? It's a big break, I'm glad you got it, but whatever happened to Miss "Honesty Is the Best Policy?" Did she turn into Mussolini all of a sudden? Aren't you in love with Bob?
The fact is, I'm not a soldier anymore. I'm an inkeeper. A proud inkeeper but a very bad inkeeper--with all the chance for glory I needed, right here in Pinetree, and I didn't even see it. My superior Miss Martha Watson will tell you that once I set breakfast for 0600 hours. Well from now on it's going to be breakfast all day and waffles all night.
No, no, no. Anything but his wife! You just put ten years on me! At least he doesn't call me "sergeant" anymore. You know, he once posted a sign that said, "Breakfast after calisthenics, 0600 hours?" In answer to the question, Your Majesty, they brought these gals to sing for the holidays.
Dear God, please, please bless Grandpa. And bless Mommy and Daddy, and the state of California, especially Pasadena. But remember to bless Grandpa most of all. I'll even give up snow--though frankly, I'd rather not. Amen.